Feb 10, 2020
One of the keys of success, is breaking the pattern of frustration and rebuilding a pattern of curiosity.
In this episode I talk about seeing things differently. Instead of getting frustrated with a situation try getting curious as to why it is that way and figure out a way to fix it.
So listen here to see how curiosity helps solve problems, while frustration puts the blame on someone else.
Today I want to talk about the difference between being frustrated and being curious.
I learnt this lesson from a client of mine.
When something doesn’t work for my client, it’s almost like he got more excited because he sat back and said, ‘oh, why’d that not work? What’s the reasoning? What was the psychology? Was it the process that’s wrong, was it the words, was it the message, was it the video?’ He got curious about it and it opened up a whole new world of possibilities, whereas most people get frustrated and they want to walk away.
What an amazing gift, what an amazing pattern to understand. So many of us go out there and create something, do something, we put it out there and if it fails, or our definition of failure, then we’re frustrated.
And as soon as you get frustrated, it’s interesting, because you stop yourself. You can’t keep making progress when you’re frustrated. Because when you’re frustrated, you’re putting it on somebody else. “Well, it was the market, the thing, the instructions were wrong, the process didn’t work.” We always have somebody else to blame it on, and that’s what causes frustration, you’re frustrated because it’s outside of your control.
And when you start shifting it instead and looking at it like my client, “Oh, this is interesting. I’m curious now. Why did that not work?” and you shift it.
Instead of taking the control away, like you do when you get frustrated, you maintain control, you keep control. And now you’re in control, “This didn’t work, this is exciting, I’m curious why it didn’t work? What do I need to change? What are the tweaks, what are the changes?” and it starts opening this huge world of possibilities for you.
And it all comes back to the curiosity. So for you guys, as you’re going through life, and it could be anything, it could be business, it could be your personal life, could be relationships, could be family, could be school, could be a million things.
I’m frustrated because of these things I can’t control are there.
But instead if you shift to like, “Huh, why did that not work? Why did that conversation with my wife turn bad? Why did the thing I encountered with my employee, why did that not work? Why when I sold this thing did nobody buy?” And you start getting curious, you start studying and looking at other people like, “What do they do different? Why were they able to grow a company when I wasn’t? Why were they able to have a better relationship with their spouse, or their kids, or their family, or their employees, or whatever it might be?”
And you start looking at it through a lens of curiosity, it changes everything. Because now you realize you do have control, in fact, you’re the only person that has control. And now you start looking at things differently, you start acting differently, you start becoming somebody different. And that is the magic of curiosity.
And so I want you guys to start thinking about that as you’re going through life. Every time you get frustrated to pause and just stop yourself, because frustration is a pattern. It’s a pattern we learned since birth and our default is going to slip back into that pattern. Because it’s like the pattern we know and that we feel comfortable with. It’s like, oh I know how to get, I know frustration. Frustration, I get there, I’m angry and I don’t have to do anything. But instead stop that pattern, We have to stop it, we have to break the pattern and say, “Look, I’m not going to be frustrated because I’m putting that control on somebody else. Instead I’m going to become curious. Why didn’t that work? What can I do differently? How can I change? What can I tweak? What can I learn? Who do I need to become to make sure this works the next time?”
We break the pattern; we develop a better pattern. If all of us can destroy the pattern of frustration and develop a pattern of curiosity, we’ll become better at all aspects of life, our businesses, our lives, our sports, our friendship, our family, our relationships, all the things that matter, when we shift from frustration and start looking at things through the lens of curiosity.
Anyway, it could change everything for you. Thanks so much, appreciate you guys for listening, and I’ll see you guys on the next episode. Bye everybody.